Clothed head to toe in black, Darrell James, 35, strides aggressively down the street, as if he owns the place – and five years ago he did.
Walking into the Hackney café, he drops heavily into a chair, removing his black leather gloves as he says, “I never go anywhere without these, the police have my prints.”
As a former member of the notorious E5 gang based in Clacton Park Estate a.k.a ‘The Square’, just off the Murder Mile, James speaks freely and animatedly about his gangster past, whilst drinking a cup of tea.
Brought up by his mother in a two bedroom flat, with 14 other siblings and cousins, James committed his first robbery aged only 11.
“We did it through frustration, and as a conquering thing. We felt like we had nothing, and we were angry. But once the money starts coming in, that’s it, it’s addictive. It makes you feel like a man and you just want more.” Smiling, and subconsciously thumbing his expensive-looking watch, he said: “I like nice things, I like shiny things, so I just did what I thought best to get it.”
But days before his seventeenth birthday James was thrown out of his family home, which he described as akin to The Waltons, after his mother discovered the extent of his thieving and that he was dealing cannabis with other boys on the estate.
Leaving home he went to live with a cousin in Stamford Hill, and that was when the real “beef” started. His cousin was the main crack cocaine dealer in Hackney, and had drummed up great hostility in the eyes of the other dealers. James became an “employee” of his cousin’s network, and so adopted his fights.
“One day four guys came to the house. As I opened the door slightly they started jabbing knives at me through the gap and through the letterbox. I couldn’t hold the door on my own and I knew there was a machete in the kitchen, so I let them in and ran for the blade. It all kicked off – people died for that attack. It all got really messy after that.”
Two months later James’ best friend Kenny was killed. A look of pained anger flitted across his eyes as he described how the killers had stolen a part of his life from him. Kenny was just one of the 18 friends that James “lost to the road” because of involvement in Hackney’s gang culture.
Violently thumping the table repeatedly he said: “It was my fault. I had become a top crack dealer and instead of hitting me, my rivals got those closest to me. I lost too many of my close brethren. It was like the grim reaper was living outside my house saying ‘right who’s going to die today?’”
It was then that reality began to strike, and James started to appreciate the damage that life on “the road” was doing to him and those around him. But it was only whilst serving four years in Brixton prison, for intent to supply drugs, that he realised it was time to change.
“Prison was hell” he said fiddling with his empty tea cup, “people get stabbed and raped in Brixie every day. Once you’ve heard a grown man scream, it will never leave you.
“Road had taken so much away from me and jail had taken my soul. It makes you cold to the world, it makes you like a tree that has been cut down and has no life in it. I didn’t cry, I didn’t sleep, I was just numb. I didn’t feel nothing for no-one.”
Ordering another cup of tea as if to start a new chapter, he continued, “I just couldn’t get back into the same thing that was going to lead me down the same path. Changes needed to be made – I look at my 4-year old nephew and I don’t want no man putting a gun or drugs into his hands.”
Once out of prison, James turned his back on “the road” and went to Hackney Police, who put him in touch with the Be Safe in Hackney scheme. Representing 30 years of death and street violence James now speaks at Parliamentary committees, City Hall, East-London schools and colleges, and to children on the street about the dangers of gang culture.
“It’s been really hard trying to get through to people, especially being a black, former criminal. But now I’ve learnt to fight with words – words are my bullets.”
“I feel responsible for these kids today – I feel guilt, a lot of guilt, because they watched us do what we did and they heard the stories about what we got up to, so now they are only following our lead. What example did we set?”
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